Kindness...Made Simple!

A Complaint-Free World Starts in the Home

2007-03-28T09:21:00.001-07:00

Can you imagine a complaint free world? "Really, honey...dinner was fantastic tonight". "Uh huh...sure it was."

I am a terrible cook. In fact, I can't even make one of those Campbell's soup can recipes. You know the ones I am talking about. They usually involve some sort of meat, topped with rice, topped with soup and milk. "Wa-la - dinner is served".

Well, it's not quite so simple in my house. Tonight, we were supposed to have "Pork Chop and Stuffing Casserole". It turned into "Pork Chop and Soggy Crouton Soup". "Mommy, this is yucky", my three year old daughter exclaimed. My husband didn't exactly complain, but he did seem stunned.

"Wow, Traci...is it hard to follow the directions on the back of a soup can?" he asked sarcastically. Needless to say, I am ready for a complaint free, sigh free, sarcasm free, eye-rolling free, and gag free world (especially during meal-time).

Have you heard of the Complaint Free World movement yet? It is a simple, yet powerful idea devised by Rev. Will Bowen, who pastors the Christ Church Unity in Kansas City. The task is easy, but the challenge may seem insurmountable. You start by wearing a little rubber purple band on your arm (like the yellow Live Strong bands worn by Lance Armstrong and his fans) as a gentle reminder to stop complaining.

Scientists suggest that it takes 21 days to change a habit. Therefore, the goal is to keep the bracelet on a single arm for 21 days. Why just one arm, you ask? Well, because the moment you sigh, grumble, moan, and whine about something you have to switch the bracelet to the opposite arm.

Personally, since I need a bit of a stronger "nudge", I am going to pull mine back as far as possible and snap it back against my wrist each time I whine about something - OUCH!

All kidding aside, imagine a complaint free dinner table. What about a complaint free home? Can you imagine a complaint and gossip free workplace? It almost seems implausible. What will people talk about around the water cooler? What will the conversations be like during the next "girls night out"? What will the next Super Bowl party sound like? While I am imagining people shuffling around, staring at their own feet and twiddling their thumbs, I am confident that the movement and the resulting awareness of all of the negativity that surrounds us will change all of our lives.

So, the next time one of my casseroles turns into a "just add meat" sloppy, soupy mess, my kids and husband will be forced to talk about their day. "So, how was preschool?" My husband will ask as he curls his toes and sips his stuffing soup.

You can't change the world without changing your own home first. You can get the free bracelets for your family at www.acomplaintfreeworld.org.

Additional Resources

http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/living/religion/16090437.htm

http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200703/20070327/slide_20070327_284_108.jhtml

Technorati tags: oprah, complaint-free, kansas city church, movement, peace, kindness, purple bracelets, acomplaintfreeworld.org, pastor, free bracelets, purple, a complaint free world, niceness, random acts of kindness, charity, giving back, home business, parenting, children, advice, tips, morals, values

Billionaire opens mansions to homeless

2007-03-23T09:04:00.001-07:00

By AUDREY McAVOY, Associated Press Writer Fri Mar 23, 7:32 AM ET

HONOLULU - Dorie-Ann Kahale and her five daughters moved from a homeless shelter to a mansion Thursday, courtesy of a Japanese real estate mogul who is handing over eight of his multimillion-dollar homes to low-income Native Hawaiian families.

Tears spilled down Kahale's cheeks as she accepted from billionaire Genshiro Kawamoto the key to a white, columned house with a circular driveway, a stone staircase and a deep porcelain bathtub. Her family will live there rent-free, but must pay utility bills.

"I'm shocked. I'm overwhelmed," Kahale said. "From the little box we had to what we have today."

Continue reading article at Yahoo News....

Technorati tags: billionaire, hawaii, homeless, giving back, donation, shelter, donate, kindness, pay it forward, random acts of kindness, kindness campaign

Free Hugs

2007-03-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

Send a Letter to a Sick Child

2007-03-12T20:30:00.002-07:00

I stumbled upon this website today.

http://www.makeachildsmile.org

Take a moment today to send a note to an ill child. Take a look at the profiles too. The courage of these children will inspire you.

Spoon with Someone

2007-03-12T20:30:00.001-07:00

This is a pretty simple one. Just spoon with someone who loves you.

Your child, your baby, your spouse, your cat, your dog. Certainly you can find someone to spoon with.

I know it seems silly to post about spooning, but frankly, sometimes I think our lives get so chaotic, so stressful, so busy...that we forget to take some time and snuggle with the people we care about.

Hugs are great too, but they are way too quick.

Spooning takes a bit of forethought. Should you spoon during a movie? Should you get up early and crawl into bed to spoon with your kiddo? What about an unexpected "spoon" with a spouse after a fight. How about leaving the laundry, the dishes and dinner undone so you can stop and spoon with a colicky baby?

A Little More Inspiration - Wonderful Verse to Share

2007-03-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

Dr. Kent M. Keith
American Author and Inspirational Speaker
© Copyright Kent M. Keith, 1968

Woman's act of honesty inspires more kindness

2007-03-12T20:29:00.001-07:00

When Canesha Blackman helped a stranger, she quickly found herself being helped in turn.

By Associated Press
Published September 11, 2005

LAKELAND - Canesha Blackman didn't even think to open the zippered bag she found outside a city building one day last month.

The 24-year-old homeless woman just went back inside and turned it in, then returned to the task of scraping up enough change to take the bus to her job at a Checkers restaurant.

It turned out the bag belonged to a Polk County sheriff's detective and held $800 in cash. Deputy Sandy Scherer had driven off with the bag on the hood of her car. Subsequent events have changed the life of Blackman, a single mother with five children ranging in age from 6 years to 6 months, as a rather innocuous good deed has prompted a flood of goodwill from all over.

Let Someone go Ahead of You ...(even if they have a full cart)

2007-03-12T20:28:00.001-07:00

Okay, I am sure a few of you are already shuddering when you read the next 2do title.

Now...imagine yourself at Wal-Mart...clutching a pair of socks, twinkies and a soda pop. The person behind you has a full cart and two screaming toddlers. There are 7 people ahead of you with overflowing carts.

What do you do?
Stand back. Just once. Try it.

The mom with the screaming kids behind you will be shocked. She may say, "oh-no..I can't"...but you insist.

You can even say something clever and sweet like, "you have more important things to do today than I do".

Maybe you aren't a Wal-Mart shopper, but you really can do this anywhere. At the bank. At the fast-food joint...and if you are a REAL TROOPER, you'll try it at the Post Office.

After you've stood back....stop in again and tell us where, and what the reaction was.

Call Someone's Manager, and Don't Complain.

2007-03-12T20:28:00.000-07:00

How many times have you gone to a fast-food joint only to end up with the wrong order, stale fries, a cheeseburger that looks like a monkey assembled it.....

Have you ever called the manager?

What if, just once....you notice someone at the restaurant doing a really good job. Maybe they asked you how your day was. Maybe they actually look you in the eyes. Maybe they weren't text-messaging their girlfriend while taking your order.....

I am sure you can find something.

Ask to talk to the manager.

Wait, wait wait.....the key to asking for the manager is NOT giving the clerk a heart-attack. Say something like, "hey, you are really doing a nice job, do you mind if I talk with your manager to let him/her know?" That way they don't automatically assume they did something wrong. Sadly, we are all predisposed to think that way, aren't we?

The great thing about this 2do is that the clerk may just go a little out of his/her way to wait on the next person. See how this works? You've just been nice to two...three...four or more people!

Now, ignore the wet burger and stale fries. You did a good thing.

Hug a Cop

2007-03-12T20:27:00.001-07:00

Alright, maybe that was a stretch.....(and might actually get you arrested). Let's take it down a notch and show a police officer your appreciation by sending a note to the department, or by just saying thank-you. If you run into an officer at a coffee shop, buy him/her a coffee or piece of pie.

I am married to a police officer and can assure you that they do not get the recognition or thank-yous that they deserve.

Trust me, officers get more dirty looks, complaint letters and one-finger salutes in a day than we would get in a lifetime.

They risk their lives every day protecting us. Let's give just a little something back today.

At Work Nice is on the Rise

2007-03-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

In a huge shift from the 'me first,' 'greed is good' attitudes of the 1980s, corporations seek a kinder, gentler culture

By Marilyn Gardner Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor

Patrick Morris could call it "a tale of two companies." As a new college graduate beginning his first job in public relations at a major cosmetics firm in New York, he knew he would be the proverbial low man on the totem pole.
"You feel you're going to get put upon and crunched and tossed around," he says. But instead of the huge egos and "attitude" he expected, he found himself surrounded by good, caring people. "It made all the difference in the world and helped to shape me into the professional I am today."

continue reading...

Miss Manners Won't Like Today's Challenge

2007-03-12T20:26:00.002-07:00

Well, Miss Manners may not agree...but I think "re-gifting" is a really nice thing to do.

If you are reading this in January, odds are you have a few Christmas gifts you weren't thrilled about. Rather than selling them at a garage sale, or stockpiling them in a storage shed...regift them.

Even if you don't like the hot-pink mittens you got from your great aunt, or the "dickey" you got from your grandmother (happened to me)...someone else will appreciate a brand new item.

(This is a dickey...in case you were wondering).

Think carefully about where you want to regift. Did you get baby clothes that don't fit your child? Give them to a Teen Pregnancy Program. Did you get a winter coat that you don't like? Drop it off at a homeless shelter.

If you have really good gift-givers and don't have anything to regift, pick out something nice and donate it. I am sure your kiddos have a *few* toys you wouldn't mind picking up, right?

Spoon with Someone

2007-03-12T20:26:00.001-07:00

Send an E-Card.

2007-03-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is a super-dooper easy one, but I thought we would start slow and move into Mother Teresa territory in a few months....

So, your first to do is to pick someone and send an e-card. Easy enough, right? Tell them you love them. Tell them how cute they look. Tell them how special they are. Send them a photo. Just make them feel good.

Since you just need to point, click and type to do this challenge, I am going to ask those of you who like a bit of a challenge to try 5.

You can send me an e-card too, but that means you have to do 6.

Enjoy & post the results in the comments section!

Here are some resources to make the task a little easier. Oh, and if you really, really want to be nice, add some other sites in the comments section.

Here are the some of the top e-card sites from About.com

Thirsty for Kindness

2007-03-12T20:25:00.001-07:00

I live in Montana and one summer afternoon the temperature hit 105. Everyone was cranky and hot.

When it is 105 outside, most of us would be perfectly content to sit in our air-conditioned homes, while sipping iced-tea & watching the boob-tube.

Some friends of mine (who wish to remain anonymous) decided that 105 was the perfect temperature for some kindness.

They went to Costco and got some cases of bottled water. Then, they walked downtown and handed ice-cold water bottles to every homeless person they encountered. It was a pretty simple and inexpensive 2do...& it may have saved someone from dehydration.

Really, is there anything nicer than giving a thirsty person a drink?

If you are reading this in January, you may want to put together a pot of hot-tea and coffee and offer this to the homeless. It will warm their bodies...and your soul in return.

Nice Stuff

2007-03-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

Where "Check Please" is Your Call

2007-03-12T20:24:00.000-07:00

At a new breed of "Robin Hood" restaurants, diners pay what they can afford -- and what they think the meal is worth

By PETA OWENS-LISTON

Posted Tuesday, Dec. 26, 2006

Deciding between the spicy peanut stew and the pesto chicken, or the squash soup and the avocado, chicken, lime soup, are not the only decisions tempting patrons at the One World Café in Salt Lake City and the SAME (So All Might Eat) Café in Denver. They must also decide what the meal is worth.

These pay-as-you-can cafes have missions that are unapologetically altruistic—call it serving up fare Robin Hood style. "Our philosophy is that everyone, regardless of economic status, deserves the chance to eat healthy, organic food while being treated with dignity," explains Brad Birky, who opened SAME with his wife, Libby, in October.

Continue Reading....

Send a Thank You

2007-03-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

I thought about this 2do today because it is almost a month after Christmas which is right about the time I actually get around to writing thank-you notes. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't enjoy writing thank-yous. I just don't like the....addressing, stamping, going to the post-office part.

If you've procrastinated writing your Christmas thank-you's. Throw in a few extras.

Here are a few people you can send notes too....

A pastor for a wonderful sermon.
A restaurant owner for a really great meal.
A news reporter for a really touching story.
Your child's teacher for inspiring them.
A friend for making you laugh so hard you almost peed your pants.
A Sunday School teacher for doing a great job on the lessons.
A neighbor for watching your house while you were on vacation.
A barista who makes wonderful coffee and is always cheerful and friendly.
Your hairstylist who helped you find a haircut you love.
Your child's friend who is always kind and helpful to your child.
The postal worker who worked really hard over the holidays.

You get the point.

Try to send a few notes to the people you didn't necessarily get gifts from this Holiday season. They've given you smiles, they've made your day brighter, they've served you coffee, they've taken care of you in many different ways.

Just because they didn't risk their lives by standing in line to buy you an Xbox 360 this year, doesn't mean they don't deserve a hearty HOO-RAY!

logo

2007-03-12T16:50:00.000-07:00

Give a Mom a Break.

2007-02-10T20:23:00.000-08:00

Alright, I'll admit. This is a selfish 2do. I have two preschoolers. They are awesome. but quite honestly...I just want to be alone for an hour.

I want to grab a cup of coffee...alone. I want to peruse a music store...alone. I want to lay on my lazy-boy and watch reality tv all by myself.

A bath would be really nice too. A long bath. With bubbles, smelly stuff, magazines and maybe even a glass of wine. I took a bath a few weeks ago. I used my kids' blueberry bubble bath, laid down and cringed as I tried to lodge a pirate ship out of the small of my back. Ahhh...relaxing. Ug.

After unloading tiny pirates, tub crayons & squirt guns I decided to take a shower instead so it would at least drown out my darling cherubs who were pounding on the door in unison, "let us in...let us in", they chanted. So much for my 15 minutes of "me-time".

Want to do something nice for a busy mom? Ask her if you can babysit for an hour. Take the kids to a fast-food place. Stop in unannounced and give her a latte. If you are feeling really creative, give her a babysitting coupon and tell her she can redeem it when she needs some "me-time".

If you are one of my Montana readers and want to fulfill this challenge, drop me a note. Otherwise, find another frazzled mother and give them a break. They aren't hard to identify. Just look for the woman with hairy legs, a unibrow, spit-up stained sweatshirts that smells like stale coffee and blueberry bubblebath.

Help a Young Mother by Making Baby Food

2007-01-10T20:21:00.000-08:00

I am currently volunteering as a mentor for a local teen mother. I love it. My "mentee" has done as much for me as I could ever do for her. She keeps me young, she makes me laugh, and she shows me how truly fortunate I was to get through my youth without any major scars.

I met my young friend through the Young Lives program. If you have the opportunity to volunteer for this program in anyway, you should. It is simply amazing.

If you are looking to help someone out (with a little less commitment) than actually mentoring a teen or working at a camp, make some baby food for a young mother.

It is really simple. You simply boil vegetables, pastas or other things you probably have as leftovers in your home, grind them up in a food processor and freeze the "mush" in ice cube trays. It is healthy for the baby, and much less expensive for the parents. If you don't know any teen moms, call a local teen pregnancy program and see if you can help by donating food, diapers or other baby necessities.

Here are some other baby-food making tips.

Wholesome Baby Food

A 2do You Can do from the Comfort of Your Laptop

2006-12-12T20:22:00.000-08:00

The other day I was checking my mail messages and a nice woman dropped me a quick e-mail to let me know how much she appreciated one of my websites. It made my day. I couldn't wait to add a few more posts, to upload some fun graphics and to make the site even better.

Nice comments and virtual thank-you notes are fairly rare, but they can make a huge difference to someone who puts their heart and soul into an online business or a hobby site.

That's why today's 2do is one of the easiest yet. Simply go to your bookmarks, click on the "contact me" link on your favorite sites and thank the person that created the webpage.

If you don't have many bookmarks, you can start by checking some of my favorite links (to the left). Each of these sites help promote kindness in the "real-world" and on the internet. It is certainly a great place to start!

A lesson from a cop's wife - leave nothing unsaid.

2006-11-12T20:24:00.000-08:00

Normally I try to make this blog an upbeat place to gather fun ideas, but I feel compelled today to talk about a tragedy.

My husband's friend and co-worker (a fellow officer) died this morning after being involved in a horrific car accident.

As always, when someone dies so suddenly we start to question our relationships with those who mean the most to us.

Has anything been left unsaid? Have we said things we regret? Have we said "I'm sorry" for the small things?

I stood outside the officer's briefing room this morning and watched one officer after another gather to mourn. The silence was painful I watched a dozen uniformed men stare at the ground and hold back tears.

In that moment, I imagined myself as the widow of the dead officer.

Did I tell him I loved him? Did he know how much I cared? Did I say I was "sorry" for the argument we had this morning? Was anything left unsaid?

He handed me the van keys and gave me a hug.

I looked at his eyes. Yes, everything is okay. Everything is always okay with us.

Like most married couples, my husband and I have fairly frequent arguments....big ones, stupid ones, silly ones. But not a day goes by where we don't say (and mean) "I love you". Even through tightly clenched fists and grinding teeth we say it, and we mean it.

Maybe I should title this post "a lesson from a cop" because he's the one who taught me how fragile and fleeting life is.

I really don't know what he does everyday (and frankly, I don't want to know). I do know that he sees a lot of "yuck" everyday and it is easy to tell how awful it was by the tightness of his hugs.

My 6 foot 3, 230 pound, often overflowing with testosterone-husband started a habitual "I love you" campaign in my home shortly after he became an officer.

Our "I love you's" often come in the form of a quick text message while he is at work, three taps during church & at movies (tap *I* tap *love* tap *you*) or a quick phone message.

I often wonder if plumbers, accountants, truckers, delivery drivers, postal workers, etc... are as committed to habitual "I love you's" as the men & women in uniform are.

I don't know.

Sometimes, during playful hugs with my husband I am jolted back into reality when his stiff bullet-proof vest rubs against my chest. "Stay safe, honey..........please".

Occassionally, I am awakened by the squeal of a siren in the neighborhood. Is he chasing someone? Is his seatbelt on? His he safe? I call. No answer. "I love you"....just in case.

Sometimes, my husband calls me in the middle of the afternoon. "hug my kids". "I love you". I smile. Then I wonder, what did he just deal with? A child's death? A spouse? An accident? A fire? Regardless. Everything is okay with us now.

My husband's partner & friend died today and I felt helpless.

Can I bring food? Can I help start a trust-fund for the boys? Can I babysit the other officer's children?

I called my husband to see what I could do and he replied, "everything is covered, hun...I love you".

He was right. Everything is covered. Everything is always covered...because nothing is ever left unsaid.

Today's challenge is probably very simple for some, but extremely difficult for others. Just say I love you to the people you care about. No matter how hard it is sometimes, it is even harder to live with regret.